I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize