I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
