She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
