This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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