Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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