who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
