Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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