I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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