Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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