It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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