The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
