Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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