How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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