why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
