So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
