you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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