Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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