I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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