need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
they need to just BURY HIM!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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