btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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