i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
