Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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