Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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