My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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