yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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