He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
