i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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