There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
