When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
