do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize