i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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