i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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