she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You pole danced in your parka.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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