just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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