**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
