Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
