i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
