it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
