Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
