Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
