the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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