My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
