I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
