You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize