we made out on top of his cat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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