your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
