He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm too high and old for this...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize