Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize