so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
