I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill