If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major