hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.