I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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