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• (619): View more from California

  Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Haha how much did you smoke

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 feet of smokeee!

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• (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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• (909): View more from California

  You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.

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