This girl is more easily done than said...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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