Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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