sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
