Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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