You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
