He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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