i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
