I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
