I wish my penis had an off switch
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
