I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sometimes, itโs important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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