oh god the rape fog is back!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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