So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
