If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
