my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
