i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
