so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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